Lobster Thermidor for the Morally Bankrupt

Editorial working recipe. This method has not yet been independently kitchen-tested by our publication. Follow safe food handling guidance and ingredient labels.

What you shall require

• 2 cooked medium rock lobsters or equivalent cooked lobster meat, shells retained
• 40 g unsalted butter or dairy-free equivalent
• 2 shallots, finely chopped
• 150 g mushrooms, finely diced
• 100 ml dry white wine or light seafood stock
• 150 ml lactose-free cream, or standard cream
• 1 tsp Dijon mustard
• 1 tsp chopped tarragon
• 40 g finely grated Gruyère or suitable alternative
• Lemon wedges, parsley, black pepper

How it is done

1. Ensure the lobster has been correctly cooked and chilled by the supplier. Split shells lengthwise, remove meat carefully, discard inedible parts and cut meat into bite-sized pieces.
2. Heat oven grill to medium-high. Clean and dry the shells and arrange securely on a tray with crumpled foil to prevent tipping.
3. Soften shallots and mushrooms gently in butter, 6–8 minutes. Add wine or stock and reduce by roughly half.
4. Add cream, mustard and tarragon. Simmer gently to a spoon-coating consistency, then remove from heat. Season with lemon and pepper.
5. Fold in the lobster meat gently, distribute into shells and top sparingly with cheese. Avoid overfilling.
6. Grill only until hot and lightly golden, around 5–8 minutes depending on shell size; avoid prolonged cooking that toughens the lobster.
7. Serve immediately with dressed leaves or a simple green salad, and plenty of napkins for everyone performing their best manners.

The household notes

Ask your fishmonger to prepare the lobster correctly or provide clearly labelled, cooked meat. Seafood requires rigorous chilled storage.

This version uses already cooked lobster, reducing the risk of undercooking during the brief final gratin. If starting with raw lobster, follow a separately verified preparation method.

For lactose-free guests use certified alternatives; Gruyère and standard cream are not inherently lactose-free.

For safe storage, cooling and reheating, see Food Standards Australia New Zealand. Discuss severe allergens and medically necessary restrictions with affected guests.